September 30 is the one year anniversary of K128, my first Kairos. It feels strange knowing that I’ll lead underclassmen on retreats because, not even a year ago, I met my senior retreat leader who I sincerely respect and admire. It’s weird to think that I will be who he was for me, but for someone else. My experience on the senior leadership retreat made me reflect on what makes a good leader, and, as a class, I don’t think we’ve been living up to a standard that we can be proud of. 

On the second day of the retreat, I learned of an incident that caused $230 worth of damage. I was especially disappointed upon hearing this because it came out of a group who signed up to be an example of the younger classes.

This incident didn’t happen in isolation. There’s a very clear pattern of behavior that we continually ignore or endorse that leads to our own moral degradation. We buy fake IDs, have sex at parties, hit each other's cars without saying anything, and get blackout drunk. These vices should not be normal parts of our culture, and yet they are. 

But how should we live if we want our school to be better than when we arrived? How do we become the leaders of the school that we’re called to be? I’m certain that I don’t have all the wisdom necessary to fully answer this question, but I’d like to share some of my thoughts nonetheless. 

I firmly believe that the most important quality for any leader is integrity. The person who leads for others, because he loves others, can only make honest mistakes. The person who leads for his own self interest, without care for others, is a narcissist. If nothing else, a leader is responsible for the people who follow him. If you’re a senior and you hold a position where you’re responsible for others simply because it looks good for colleges, then you should re-evaluate why you hold that position. Your desire to lead should come from a place of genuine passion and a desire to serve. 

If you chose to lead, then you give up living only for yourself. It's never just about your three days leading a Kairos, what you do for Student Council or what you write for the Prep News. Every aspect of how you live needs to bleed integrity, because someone is always watching. People who look up to you are watching. 

I imagine many of us seniors can remember at least one upperclassman who we looked up to in the past few years: someone who we want to model ourselves after. I can name six just by looking at an issue of PN 90. We are not the same as the people that we admire, but we reflect qualities that we admired in them. For better or for worse. 

As seniors we must remember that underclassmen will be reflections of us, just like we’re reflections of those who we look up to. Whoever we want the next generation to be, we need to be ourselves. I’m especially challenged by this idea. I have my vices, and I don’t think I’ll be able to get rid of them any time soon. It may seem like the only solution is to be perfect, but we’re not called to be perfect. All that we can do is be better men than the day before.