I was running on about 12 hours of sleep on the bus and I could not fall asleep. Four days ago, I had left with my youth group to travel 15 hours on a bus to Washington D.C. for the March for Life, and to my disappointment, that journey was coming to an end. I was confused, very confused: why did I not want to leave this cramped, smelly bus, and return to my home? Because I was surrounded by a community built on joy, and awaiting me on Monday was a community lacking joy.

Most people would be disappointed that they would have to return to the infamous grind, or have to endure brutal classes. But to me, I was more saddened by the fact that I was reentering a community that so often lacks authentic joy. Sure, there are plenty of students and faculty that I know that constantly radiate joy and are just excited to be here. But for the community as a whole, so often, I feel that it is a community that tears me down instead of builds me up. 

As soon as I entered school on Monday, those fears, those concerns were immediately confirmed. I was sitting with a group during Studium and all of them were attacking each other verbally, talking about women in degrading ways and even insulting me for going to the March for Life. It saddened me, because I knew what they were missing out on. It saddened me that these guys, my brothers, don’t have that community of joy that I do. It saddened me that my school, this place I love so much, wasn’t a place of joy. 

Within the school, there are pockets that radiate joy, yet overall I do not believe that the entire school community, as a whole, is one that emanates joy on a daily basis. Why do I believe this? To concisely put it: we live in a secular society which grasps our attention through trival, material objects such as money, grades, sex, party culture, and many other things. It preaches a message that these objects, these things, will bring us happiness. While we may gain momentary happiness through these things, eventually the well will run dry, and when it does, we are stuck, craving those worldly desires even more. 

I was trapped in this cycle, and I still find myself trapped in this cycle, and it stinks. It is miserable, it is lonely, it is unfulfilling. And around me, I see everybody else stuck in this treacherous cycle. The only way to break that cycle is to live in a community of joy, of authentic joy, joy that is found through God alone.

I now pose this question to every individual in the SLUH community: are we living in a community of joy at SLUH? I already shared my answer, and I think that if you spend time meditating on it you too will come to the same conclusion: that the SLUH community as a whole is not a community of joy.

Yet I want to change it, I dream of changing it, because living in a community of joy is a transformative experience, it is a powerful experience. Not just for you, but for every individual who encounters this community. 

Transforming this place will not be easy, it will take lots of work. But it is possible. And it starts with the individual. It starts with you, the reader. Make a commitment to live a life of joy, of authentic joy. Choose to spread that joy with the other members of SLUH. Whether it be through offering a boisterous hello in the morning or simply from refraining from joining in locker room talk at the lunch table, each time you choose joy, the community grows in joy. One final tip: in my own experience, the easiest way to choose joy, to find joy in your life is to turn to God and pray. That is where authentic joy is found and once you discover and choose to live a life of authentic joy, St. Louis U. High will come one step closer to being a truly beautiful place.