The following is fiction and only intended for comedic purposes.

Last Friday, a student at Saint Louis U. High was seen during the passing period breaking the hallway rules made in order to maintain safety during a national pandemic, showing how much of an absolute badass he is by refusing to consider the safety of himself and others. 

The rebel, whose identity is unknown at the moment, garnered the admiration of some students and even faculty after he traveled from senior hallway to the J-wing without making the required loop through freshman hallway.

“He’s such a renegade,” said senior and drummer for local band The Scamps Rob Brooks. “Not many people at SLUH have the (guts) to put not only their own life but the lives of hundreds of other people at risk.”

“If I were to make a list of the most badass men ever, the only three on it would be Chuck Norris, Batman, and whoever this is,” said art teacher Mr. Sean Powers, referencing his 9-foot, near-finished painting of a tall, muscular figure walking down the wrong side of the hallway. “He’s such an inspiration for everyone who wants to stand up to authority and say, ‘We will not be forced to walk in a direction we don’t want to walk.’”

Other SLUH students confirmed that, along with breaking hallway rules, the reactionary frequently walks in front of the Main Office with his shirt untucked and sometimes turns in assignments five minutes late. What a badass.

Art | Nathan Rich