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Satire: Prep shoes now on sale!

After much deliberation, the editorial team of Prep News 87 has decided to release a line of shoes in order to help raise money for color editions. The Prep Shoes, as they have been dubbed, will be on sale through the end of the quarter.

Daniel Okohson-Reb rocks his Prep Shoes.

The idea for a line of high school journalism-inspired footwear began just last week, when senior Daniel Okohson-Reb ingeniously placed a Prep News broadsheet into the soles of his Sperrys during French class. Initially intending to play his newly journalistic shoes off for a one-time gag, Okohson-Reb realized his idea had true potential, which he promptly brought to the attention of the Prep News.

Said Okohson-Reb of his momentous invention, “I’ve always loved creating things, and I saw the perfect opportunity last Friday to wow my French class by putting newspaper in my shoes. Then it hit me -- Prep Shoes. It’s perfect. So I sent an email to the paper and it turns out they really loved my idea.”

Following an extensive design process undertaken by Prep News Visual Editor Leo Smith, the Prep News sent the final designs for the shoes to the supplier yesterday, with the first batch of orders set to be complete by the end of September. With a carbon fiber plate in the sole for additional stability, a light exterior shell for maximum breathability, and of course our signature Prep News logo adorning the sides, the Prep Shoes are sure to impress, whether you’re hitting the town or hitting the court.

We are proud to offer eight colorways, including Fr. Gibbons Green, Mr. Missey Mauve, and Mr. Hussung Hazel, among others. Additionally, for just an extra $50, you can get your Prep Shoes signed by your favorite editor, turning them into a collector’s item to be cherished for generations. 

With a very positive reception to the Prep Shoes so far, Prep News Editor in Chief Luke Duffy is confident in the brand’s ability to compete with powerhouse companies like Nike and Adidas.

“When we started this little endeavor last week, it was just a just that—a little endeavor,” said Duffy. “Since then, though, it’s grown into an absolutely massive financial undertaking. At this point, I dedicate more of my time to my role as CEO of Prep Shoes than as Editor in Chief of the Prep News. I’m actually considering letting Jackson Cooper take my job as EIC so I can manage Prep Shoes more closely.”

Before the business venture can develop into a multinational global corporation, however, it must first achieve its primary goal: providing the Prep News with the $12,000 it needs to print in color every week. You can help us reach this very attainable goal by purchasing your own pair of Prep Shoes for the low, low price of $59.99 plus shipping and handling. All proceeds will go to the best cause around—us.

 

 


 

 

 

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