Satire: SLUH Experience a World Cup Fever

By Jackson Cooper and Drew Figge

News Editor, Core Staff


St. Louis U. High has been hit by a “World Cup fever” of sorts in recent weeks as students and teachers alike have shown a sudden interest in the sport of soccer. Purely by coincidence, games have been played during the school day, allowing students the opportunity to follow along with games instead of class.

Many classes, particularly foreign language classes, have been utilizing the World Cup for cultural enrichment, allowing students to grow closer to countries that speak whichever language students are learning.

“My classes have been watching every single game played by a Spanish-speaking country,” said Spanish teacher Magdalena Alvarado. “It has been really enriching to watch all of Mexico, Spain, Argentina, Ecuador, Uruguay, and Costa Rica play.”

Some science classes have also taken the opportunity to apply topics learned in class to the real world through watching the World Cup.

“Well these are humans, and they have mitochondria, and skeletal systems, and all of that stuff, which we learn about all the time in my class,” said anatomy teacher Tim O’Keefe.

“Oh, I had never willingly watched more than ten minutes of a soccer game before,” said one sophomore who elected to remain anonymous. “But if it meant we could guilt trip our geometry teacher into pushing our test back, I’d be the biggest soccer fan in the world.”

Another member of the science department elected to use the World Cup as an opportunity to enrich his class. Physics teacher Kent Kershenski showed his B period class the Spain game.

“I forgot to print out my worksheet for the day and realized I could just use the projectiles of the soccer ball and we also created a formula to analyze the flow rate of fans through the stairwells,” said Kershenski. “It was overall a very beneficial class.”

On the other hand, English teacher Jamie Cordia showed each of her freshman classes games throughout the week, tying it to the Odyssey.

“I assigned a homework assignment for my students to draw parallels between Christian Pulisic and Odysseus as homeland heroes using a CEA structure and at least 51,000 words—the average attendance of the Group Stage games,” said Cordia.

Due to the next World Cup being over the summer, many teachers are planning on heavily investing themselves in the 2025 fall pickleball playoffs.

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