The students eating lunch on Thursday, March 3 had to ask the fire alarm to raise its voice since they couldn’t figure out what it was wailing about due to the muffling caused by the plexiglass dividers between the tables.

“I heard someone over the intercom yelling something like ‘the school is for hire,’ but I didn’t know what the hell that meant,” said a freshman, yelling across the table at a classmate who had yet to participate in the clan war on Clash of Clans. “You know, when you think about it, this could be a huge safety hazard. Like, what if we couldn’t hear the bells and were stuck learning about kleos for three hours?”

Following the mishap on Thursday, students are calling for the removal of the dividers.

“I just think that the dividers are too much of a safety hazard at this point,” said an anonymous senior. “I don’t know how much longer I’ll be able to live with having to repeat myself half a dozen times whenever I repeat jokes I stole from a comedy special on Netflix.”

“I’ve been working on my vocals in my free time until these dividers are down,” said the fire alarm. “I’ve been looking to change up my routine whenever the school is on fire, so this offers a great opportunity to try out some new material.”

At press time, reporters couldn’t hear anything the administration was saying due to the fact that the interviews were held at the lunch tables.